Marriage Counseling vs Divorce: Making the Right Choice

Introduction

From time immemorial our sacred texts tell us that marriage is a sacred union between two individuals. It is a rollercoaster ride filled with joy, challenges, and growth. However, some couples may find themselves at a crossroads. It is difficult for them to contemplate whether to save the relationship by opting for marriage counselling or go for a divorce. Sadly, this is not an easy decision. It demands a careful consideration.

What is Divorce Counseling?

Divorce counselling helps a person to understand the causes of separation. It prepares you to come to terms with the changes that divorce brings upon you.

Since most people are too emotionally battered to think about their mental and social growth, divorce counselling is the first step towards a new beginning.

Divorce counselling will take you step-by-step through your emotions. You will be able to see things with a clear perspective.

Signs It Might be Time to End Your Marriage

1. Abuse

Abuse can be of any type—physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, etc. Also, there is no willingness to acknowledge the abuse by the abuser or to stop the behaviour.

2. Absence of Concern

There is an absence of respect and mutual concern between you and your partner Moreover, your partner is not willing to understand or change their behaviour.

3. Apathy

Apathy towards one another has replaced the concern and for one another. When you take an objective look at your relationship, the cons seriously outweigh the pros.

4. Hostile Behaviour

When there is a difference of opinion between you and your partner it into an argument. What’s more, neither of you is not willing to budge. Fighting and silence have replaced discussions and debate.

5. Addiction

Your partner has an addiction and refuses to acknowledge the addiction or seek treatment. They are not listening to any of your pleas or refuse to explain things.

6. Aloofness

You are no longer sharing your thoughts or emotions with your partner. Even if you try, they leave the room or express a lack of interest.

7. Lack of Communication

The conversations have been replaced by the bare minimum of words exchanged. Your partner does not discuss any plans with you or share their whereabouts.

8. Infidelity

Your partner, or you, have been unfaithful to each other. Moreover, there is no expression of guilt or a desire to change things for the better.  

9. Lack of Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy and desire between you and your partner are no longer present. There is sexual repulsion or aversion and neither partner has an interest in addressing this problem.

Impact of an Unhappy Marriage

An unhappy marriage is an emotionally draining decision. Let’s see how.

  1. Negative Effects on Kids

The latest research found that children of all ages exposed to frequent, conflicts between parents are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and sleep problems. They may also have social and interpersonal problems.

2. Increased Stress

Unhappy marriages can cause significant stress, which can then affect your physical health. It can lead to digestive issues, poor appetite, and immunity. An unhappy marriage can contribute to depression and anxiety issues.

3. Increased Conflict

Staying in an unhappy marriage may breed feelings of insecurity, resentment, or despair. More frequent conflict can increase those negative feelings, creating an emotionally draining cycle.

4. Decreased self-esteem

Frequent conflict in your relationship may lead to low self-esteem. It can cause depression and anxiety. You may feel demotivated and this can affect the quality of your life. At times it may affect your mental well-being and personal growth.

5. Less Chances of  Happiness

When you are staying with someone who is unable to meet your needs, or just not ready to change, you are unable to find a partner who is a better fit. Ultimately this will make you feel sad, regretful, and even resentful.

Marriage Counselling Vs. Divorce Discernment Counselling

The basic difference between discernment counselling and marriage counselling lies in their respective goals.  For example, marriage counselling focuses on actively resolving the relationship’s issues.

On the other hand, the objective of discernment counselling isn’t to work to solve marital problems.  Instead, discernment counselling aims to determine whether both partners are committed to solving the problems.  If they do, they may move on to marriage counselling.  If they do not, couples start the divorce process.

Benefits of Marriage Counselling Before Divorce

• Counselling provides a safe space for couples to communicate effectively and learn to listen to each other.
• Couples can learn how to manage disagreements in a healthy way, by avoiding negative behaviour such as criticism and stonewalling.
• Marriage Counselling offers emotional support for couples going through difficult times. It helps them to manage stress, anxiety, and depression.
• Marriage Counselling can help couples reconnect. There are chances they may improve their physical and emotional intimacy.
• Counselling can also help parents minimize the negative impact of divorce on their children. They can opt for a co-parenting relationship even after the divorce.

How Our Marriage Counsellor Expert Can Prevent Divorce?

Please remember a marriage counselling is never guaranteed to prevent divorce. But it can help to make the best decision. Typically, the marriage counsellor will start by evaluating you and your spouse together. They can also decide to meet with you separately. Then, your therapist might suggest a mix of individual and joint meetings to address specific concerns.

• A good relationship counsellor can help the partners identify the causes of marital problems and help them find practical solutions. The counsellor may listen and evaluate the quality of interaction, including non-verbal signals.
• After identifying the main problems in the marriage, the counsellor helps the couple set clear goals for the counselling sessions. These goals may include improving how they listen and talk to each other, or rebuilding trust.
• Couples may need to practice various skills during sessions, such as active listening exercises, conflict resolution methods, and empathy.

Conclusion

Marriage counselling requires couples to assess their willingness to invest time and effort into the process. Although it is a personal choice, if needed, they should be prepared to make the difficult decision to part ways.